WWE Stomping Grounds
June 23 2019
Trying out an even more minimalist review style than usual here. Let me know what you think. Before we kick off; Stomping Grounds? What the fuck does that mean? Must be a Vince pick. A stomping ground is somewhere you like going regularly. So Vince likes hanging out in Tacoma does he? Fucking bellend.
RAW Women’s Championship
Becky Lynch (c) vs. Lacey Evans
I wish Becky would go back to her Steampunk look. I wish Lacey would go back to NXT. Even with Becky loudly calling spots for her in the ring she still can’t get in place for them. Lacey’s ooh, look at me I can do an armbar is fucking embarrassing. They make Lacey further expose herself by putting them out there for 11 minutes. It’s a prime example of WWE struggling to create talent from thin air.
Becky finally puts us out of our misery with the Disarmer. She deserves better. This was ok in places but not of an acceptable standard. Becky needs better opposition for big matches. She carried this as best as she could.
Final Rating: **1/4
Oh, I hate they have started constantly referring to Becky as “Seth Rollins’ girlfriend”. Fuck off with that bullshit.
Baron Corbin is main eventing tonight. I may have to skip that.
Sami Zayn & Kevin Owens vs. The New Day
I’m surprised to see Big E up and around. I thought he’d proper fucked his leg. I have not paid the slightest attention to this feud so I have no horse in the race. It’s an ok formula tag. Everyone works hard and they’re all good. I just don’t care who wins. Luckily that doesn’t stop me enjoying it and they keep up a decent pace after Big E tags in.
Big E murders Zayn but Xavier eats the Stunner and we’re done. This was super fun. If I’d been watching the TVs I might have liked it more.
Final Rating: ***1/2
Alexa Bliss is shown backstage, which makes me remember that I watched the 365 on Alexa and it’s really good.
WWE US Championship
Samoa Joe (c) vs. Ricochet
Joe’s been in WWE for five years now. When he was first signed he was supposed to be an NXT veteran to help the kids (like Chris Hero). He’s in the worst condition of his entire career but I’m glad he’s getting paid. This is surprisingly boring as Ricochet has to slow himself down to Joe’s old man speed. Thank god for the +10 second skip gimmick on those rest holds. Hopefully Ricochet gets some more agile challengers. The match has the odd explosive sequence but it overstays its welcome at 12 minutes and Ricochet finishes with the 630. Glad WWE realise that Ricochet is great but they need to just let him go against other athletic dudes here. Apparently people thought this was good.
Final Rating: **3/4
Smackdown Tag Team Championship
Daniel Bryan & (Insert name here when you remember it) (c) vs. Heavy Machinery
Big Dan Bryan is in his home state so he’s over as fuck.
It’s a shame he’s stuck in there with three big galoots but the crowd seem to enjoy themselves. The loud reactions to everything reminds me of Bret Hart in Canada circa 1997. Otis? More like Notis. WWE are bizarrely unprepared for Bryan’s hero’s welcome and have the Machinery lads work babyface. Imagine if they’d switched the belts here? Dan rolls up Tucker for the pin. I enjoyed the crowd derailing a stupid match.
Final Rating: **
Video Control gives us a shill for Extreme Rules, which is generally one of the worst WWE PPVs. Although we don’t normally have this one. Maybe they’re shooting their shit load ahead of time.
Smackdown Women’s Championship
Bayley (c) vs. Alexa Bliss
These two have had a series of awful matches since leaving NXT.
Quite why WWE insists on re-doing it boggles my mind. Extreme Rules 2017 was particularly dreadful. This legitimately feels like an NXT match. Alexa has a little bit of fire about her but everything else is flat. It drags. I know I’m trying to write less but there’s very little to write about here. At least it’s not botchy but it is lifeless. I feel bad for them because they throw out a few big spots and nobody cares. Bayley to Belly finishes after Bayley gets knees up on the Sparkle Splash.
Final Rating: **
Video Control gives us quality 24/7 content with Drake Maverick getting married wearing the strap before getting rolled up by R-Truth on his way out. Ricochet vs. AJ Styles is teased. I hope they do Ricochet vs. Karl Anderson tbh.
Roman Reigns vs. Drew McIntyre
They did this at WrestleMania and it was so boring I think I micronapped a dozen times during it. So yeah, let’s do that again. People still hate Roman. Cancer survivors? Assholes, probably. The +10 second gimmick comes in handy again here as Drew has grindingly boring control periods. The crowd literally chanting “this is awful”.
I find myself drifting so badly I’m suddenly watching Canada vs. Sweden in the Women’s World Cup. Is the Roman-Drew match still happening? Is Drew still grinding his way through rest holds? I’m so bored my brain decides to play me “Together in Electric Dreams” by the Human League. Thanks brain! Human League are infinitely preferable to Shane McMahon run ins. This was boring as shit and Roman wins with a Spear.
Final Rating: DUD
Reminder that Alexa Bliss 365 is on the Network. Watch that instead of this.
Kofi Kingston (c) vs. Dolph Ziggler
Hey, how do we follow up from that boring match? Dolph Ziggler! Yay. Crowd is dead. The match is technically fine but it also has Dolph Ziggler in it. They take their time getting into the good stuff but Kofi has a lot of sympathy so him fighting from underneath is better than Roman fighting from underneath. Ziggler tries to crawl out of the door but Kofi dives out over the top of him in a cool finish. They took too long to get there but I dug the finish.
Final Rating: ***
WWE Universal Championship
Seth Rollins (c) vs. Baron Corbin
Why on gods green earth would you put Corbin in the main event. What madness is this? It’s a major test of Rollins’ ability to carry someone. Baron’s special guest referee is Lacey Evans so Seth doesn’t attack her. Oh no, I hope Seth Rollins’ girlfriend Becky Lynch doesn’t get involved.
Crowd chants “this is stupid” before chanting for AEW. Well done Baron Corbin: Main Eventer. Everyone hates you even more than Roman Reigns. He is legitimately rotten. I have no clue what he’s doing here. “WWE fans all over Baron Corbin” chirps Michael Cole as they chant “boring”. The only time I perk up is when Corbin gets powerbombed through the announce table because he might be injured and the match might be over. Oh god, there’s 11 minutes left on the show. Lacey Evans is equally inept as a referee, and someone who can’t talk, as a wrestler. Seth Rollins’ girlfriend Becky Lynch gets involved. Curb Stomp mercifully puts this awful match out of its misery.
Final Rating: DUD
Rollins then had the audacity to tweet this:
Doubling down. Best pro wrestling on the planet. See that Cruiserweight Triple Threat? And that’s just one night, one match amongst the many. Find anyone else alive who does what I do as well as I do it as often as I do it. Ya can’t. #WWEStompingGrounds #UniversalChampion @WWE
— Seth Rollins (@WWERollins) June 23, 2019
Fuck off Seth.
Fuck off Seth.