Drags and Dropkicks
April 6 2019
I have no clue what’s going on here. We’re at the House of Yes. They have the worst house mic going.
Promo Time: Effy
Effy has an open challenge. He hopes it’s not a giant hot dog or the Undertaker. BONG! It’s the Bundertaker!
Effy vs. The Bundertaker
Bundertaker will not sell anything and he runs through all of Taker’s spots. It’s pretty meta.
I am currently watching a giant hot dog, dubbed "The Bundertaker", running through Mark Callaway's spots. pic.twitter.com/ih0tnA7FEc
— Arn (@ArnoldFurious) April 9, 2019
He has several condiment druids. Mustard is getting fiery up. He’s spicy. They botch so badly (10 mins time stamp Maffew) that they literally stop and look exasperated at each other. After attempting several horrible Tombstones they opt for a chokeslam instead and that finishes. The Ministry of Deliciousness celebrate. Comms make a lot of Undertaker/food related gags.
Final Rating: DUD (nice try though)
Tag Team Match
Due to the house mic being so bad I can’t tell what any of the names are of the guys involved. There are three teams. I do recognise Ariel Monroe. She’s tagging with Roni Nicole. The other two teams are men. The one are a couple of angry looking skinny white dudes. The other team appear to be Rastafarian basketball players. One of them is called Duke Davis. I like them both.
Big Duke doesn’t want to fight Ariel Monroe. The skinny punk boys work heel. One of them is dubbed the “Mind Eraser”. I wish I could erase that CZW show from my mind. I wonder if he’s working on a special power where he makes his opponents forget how to wrestle and then tie them up a shoot pin. Ariel spends a lot of time in there, which is for the best as she looks to be the best wrestler by a distance. Unless she’s trying to figure out who’s about to pull her out of the ring. Then she’s less good.
I guess this show is just going to be comedy and nonsense
Wait, what? pic.twitter.com/BwiE3yas3Y
— Arn (@ArnoldFurious) April 9, 2019
Duke and his partner “The Main Event” score the win with a big assisted German. This was lots of fun with patchy quality.
Final Rating: **1/2
This show has drag queens miming Journey songs on the bar in between matches. It’s amazing, honestly. I wish every show had this level of entertainment. David Lawless comes out to interrupt it to get heat and I hate him for it. Sonny Kiss runs out here to make the save and the fans all get to chop Lawless.
David Lawless vs. Sonny Kiss
Lawless decides to kick things off by sitting down and having a chat about the match. Come on, man. I see you talking in there. Sonny Kiss is great. The tumbling slap is gold. The whole Lawless thing of wanting the show shut down because of “you people” is playing a role but does it need to be that way? I guess you have heels in wrestling and they have to take up that contrary position but you also don’t want anyone to agree with him. Anyway, Kiss wins in short order and everyone goes back to having a nice time.
Sonny Kiss 1 Injustice In Society 0
Final Rating: *1/2
Lee Moriarty vs. Pinkie Sanchez
Moriarty is relatively unknown but people have high hopes. This is very short and Pinkie wins with a frogsplash. Hey, ok. I don’t really have any takes here. His entrance music is “I Was Made For Loving You” though and getting to hear that twice is neat.
Final Rating: NR (short)
Everett Cross vs. Jamie Senegal
Cross is a rainbow haired ragamuffin. Senegal a slightly taller bloke with a punk haircut. Comms goes weird and starts ranting about the Church of Drivers. I have no idea what they’re saying.
They do some good stuff with strikes including a great double KO with high kicks. Senegal has some incredible stuff like back rolls into a springboard into a German suplex. Some beautiful ideas at play. The Roundhouse that ends Cross is great.
Final Rating: ***
The semi-main event is a scramble and I have no idea who’s in this. They’re all local boys from NYC area. Comms read through all the people in the match and the only guy I know is CPA. Oh and London Ali. She armdrags everyone. This whole match is just terrible. They go through just about every trope going and don’t execute any of them particularly well. The Tower of Doom. The row of guys with one on the end hitting a spot that knocks over everyone. Billy Dixon and Eddie McQueen are the final two. Killian McMurphy and CPA both going out just before the end. Eddie gets the pin. “Yas bitch, yas”.
Final Rating: *
MV Young vs. Casanova Valentine
Casanova is the “Hipster Heartthrob”. He’s the big beardy guy that does bar brawl shows. Young looks like he should be the front man of a 1979 punk band. Does he think this is CBGB’s? (Note to self; no one is going to get that). Casanova decides to take it out into the crowd.
MV Young seems to have an equally ‘no fucks given’ approach so this leads to an entertaining main event.
Casanova usually does so much in the way of walk and brawls that I wasn’t expecting a textbook spin kick. MV has a weapon called the Garden Weasel. The ref gets bumped and the drag queen from earlier counts the pin.
Final Rating: **1/2
This show absolutely peaked with the drag act; Madame Vivienne, and I would now probably watch a show in a bar that mostly drag acts with some wrestling on the side. Watch the Bundertaker, even though it failed the attempt was appreciated, and the drag act and probably Cross v Senegal. I was really excited about this show after 30 minutes because it felt so different and interesting but by the time it finished I was glad it was one of the shortest shows of the weekend.