OVW TV 959
January 3 2018
Remember when Ohio Valley Wrestling was a thing? Well, it still is. They run shows all the time and their website (ovwrestling.com) streams their weekly show. It’s less than an hour so I figured I’d take a look. Main event tonight is a eight man tag. This is very catered to the Ohio area. Hosts are Gilbert Corsey, Matt Lacett and Ted McNaler.
“Showtime” Apollo Garvin vs. Big Zo
Winner of this bout gets a spot in the last ten for the Nightmare Rumble. Garvin has a bum bag and looks like he fell out of a gym. All zubazz and vests. Zo is a big fat guy. Behind the ring is a banner saying “tomorrow’s superstars today”. I can’t help but feel OVW has become entirely marginalised and a dead end for just about everyone that wrestles there. A marked contrast to when WWE sent their hand-picked guys down there to get trained. Now they have NXT and OVW are obsolete. At least their venue looks like a proper TV location, instead of a social club or some other shit hole. It’s a good venue. Zo takes this with a Vaderbomb. I struggled to care about it. It was very, very basic.
Final Rating: *1/2
Video Control takes us to Al Snow, who tries to sell me on his “Collar and Elbow” wrestling brand. Mate, it’s no SPLX. We’re also treated to an advert for OVW’s wrestling school, headed up by noted Twitter idiot Rip Rogers.
We then hear from David Lee Lorenze III and his group of cronies. They do some weird in-ring angle with “majority owner” Dean Hill. Can they not just call him the promoter? Or does everyone just know that’s Danny Davis? It’s a very strange term for an authority figure. As with old Smoky TV spots this is mainly to set up attendance at live shows.
Adam Slade vs. Kevin Giza
This another match where the winner enters the last ten in the Nightmare Rumble.
These two are a tag team imploding. They usually go by “The Top Guys”. Slade looks like an extra from the Forrest Gump scene with all the hippies in it, in Washington. Giza is a skinny kid in black trunks. They do not look like tag partners. Giza does a 619 so I hate him. The match is outright bad. It has flashes where it’s not a pile of shit. They cooperate too much and the execution isn’t crisp when they do hit stuff. Giza has a very nice running knee and the match does improve when they run pre-planned sequences. Giza gets the pin with a block in a near falls. This ended up ok but the first half of it was really bad.
Final Rating: *
Randall Floyd shows up with the promise of a gimmick match called the “Randall Rumble”. He seems confident on the microphone and he looks like a star, of sorts. The Randall Rumble involves three competitors gauntlet match with over the top rope rules. When the action gets underway Randall looks clunky as hell but he carries himself like a big deal. Even if he’s not technically gifted, yet. The first kid, Sam Thompson, gets thrown out quickly. William Lutz is next and they botch huge.
Fucking nailed it. pic.twitter.com/4n1MFYWTdW
— Arn~! (@ArnoldFurious) January 12, 2018
KTD is the third and final man. He has an MMA style approach, which doesn’t help Randall out. Instead of botching stuff, he hops around trying to figure out how to sell a bum leg. Occasionally Randall nails a spot and he looks great but too often the transitions are fucked and the bits in between the high spots suck. Randall tosses KTD out to win his shitty little battle royal gauntlet.
Final Rating: DUD
Eight Man Tag Team Match
David Lee Lorenze III, Adam Revolver, Michael Hayes & Colton Cage vs. Dapper Dan, Houdini, Aloicious Hamilton & Billy O
Ever since I saw his name written down I wanted to see Dapper Dan wrestle. The little ratty looking kid is Houdini, who’s a huge underdog. Hayes is not The Michael Hayes but he is the current OVW Champion. Some of the action here beggars belief. It’s so bad. You can tell Rip Rogers is the trainer for this area because all the wrestlers suck, like he did. Even where there is raw talent they don’t seem to know how to move around the ring. The very basics are wrong. How is no one seeing this? Even the commentary is garbage with the babyface one not understanding what a chiropractor is.
“Your chiropractor is coming? You’re going to need a physical therapist after Saturday because your back…etc”
A chiropractor works on backs, m9. The match is loosely based around Houdini, a shrimpy Spike Dudley type, getting beaten up and refusing to lie down. The stand out worker in this match is Adam Revolver. His timing and positioning are notably better than the rest, although he still has issues. He happens to be capable of landing strikes and that makes him better than everyone else. The trouble with having a promotion that are all trained by the same guy results in this bubble where nobody knows how flawed they are and nobody ever improves. These guys don’t work anywhere else. DL3, for example, debuted in 2013 and is still stuck in OVW because he’s not good enough to catch a break elsewhere. But he’s never going to improve unless he gets more experience and you cannot get experience by working the same guys over and over again. OVW has a massive problem here. Houdini flukes a pin on Colton Cage, the stringy wannabe rocker, and gets the win for his team.
Final Rating: *
Well, this was an interesting experience. I found a delightful botch for Maffew’s amusement. I discovered that Rip Rogers is a horrible trainer and I probably won’t do this again. But if I do, I’ll be aware of how shoddy this operation has become. It’s a tiny regional promotion, coasting by on former glories.