McAloon Productions: The Ultimate Bar Brawl (1.31.19) review

McAloon Productions: The Ultimate Bar Brawl (1.31.19) review

McAloon Productions: The Ultimate Bar Brawl

 

January 31 2019

 

We’re in Atlanta, Georgia at Wild Pitch Underground. It’s an event venue opposite a bail bonds place. Hosts are Kevin Gill and Stew Myrick. This is a tie-in for the Superbowl weekend for anyone who follows the Sports ball. They ran a much bigger show the following day called Come Hell or High Water but I’m into the smaller buildings and the undergraps. Plus this show has Ken Shamrock vs. Tom Lawlor. The following day’s show was at the Espacio Discotheque, which is 18 miles away from this venue. After Gill promises “all killer no filler” they then talk for 20 minutes.

BBbar

By the way, the venue is tiny. Maybe the smallest I’ve ever seen wrestling in. There is no ring, because it won’t fit, and the matches are just taking place in a bar.

BBMJF

MJF briefly joins commentary nearly thirty minutes into the show to belittle Ken Shamrock…before backtracking and telling Kevin Gill if he tells anyone what he just said he’ll murder him and his family. Thirty minutes in and Chris Trew gets the show started.

 

Effy vs. Ethan Page vs. Casanova Valentine vs. Matt Cross

BBEffy

Valentine is a promoter of bar brawl shows. It sounds like a good idea but it doesn’t take long for the show to get mired in the venue’s limitations. Maybe if it was a bigger bar it would work. Matt Cross dives off the bar, for example, but there’s no room for anything other than a crossbody.

BBEthan

Valentine hits a urinage on a bin for the opening fall. Effy lights up and Page tells him he can’t do that. Casanova than waterboards Page on the bar.

BBCasanova

Page is eliminated, or just walks out, without anyone noticing. These guys are absolutely filthy. The floor of this bar is very, very dirty. Effy has a Mr Cocko and Casanova gets laid out with the Mandible Claw. This was unique. Not good, but unique. I’d like to see one of Casanova Valentine’s shows as I think he’s got a decent handle on the concept but the normal guys didn’t look keen on it.

Final Rating: *

 

ODB vs. Penelope Ford

I legitimately thought ODB had retired.

BBPenelope

They start out doing shots of fireball.

These two immediately grasp the concept of a bar brawl better than anyone in the first match. They just lay in a bunch of strikes and spit alcohol at each other. Both of them end up covered in beer and the reluctance to take a bump is amplified by a beer bottle breaking. I honestly feel sorry for everyone having to work in this environment.

Then Joey Janela turns up, spits booze and ODB’s eyes and Ford gets the tap out win!

BBJanela

“We’re coming back and we’re gonna fuck everyone”.

Final Rating: **1/2

 

Darby Allin & Priscilla Kelly vs. Doomfly

These guys had a tag match in Bar Wrestling New Year’s Eve, which degenerated into a shoot when Delilah Doom gave Kelly a stiff forearm and busted her open. I am excited to see if this also degenerates into a shoot as Priscilla looks for another receipt.

BBPriscilla

This is surely helped along by them drinking shots of vodka pre-match. THIS IS A BAD IDEA GUYS. Then Kelly spits right into Darby’s mouth. Oh my word. Everfly is the kind of guy who won’t let this limit his flips. So he hits a shiranui off the bar. Meanwhile in what looks like a pre-arranged receipt Delilah blades. Darby tries like hell to put together a good match but it’s so hard to take bumps where there’s no space anywhere. Priscilla gives up and stops off to drink

I’m glad Doom and Kelly could come to terms with their differences over a few beverages.

Oh no, but then Priscilla loses her lunch on Eli’s face and he’s too distraught to kick out. To be fair, I would just take the pin so I could hit the showers at that point.

Final Rating: The finish was someone puking on someone else, I’m not sure I can work that into the star ratings system. The match was super fun up to that point though. I’m just a little bit horrified that they went there.

 

Tom Lawlor vs. Ken Shamrock

It’s a pity this is taking place in a bar because I’d love to see it in a wrestling ring. Instead we get a walk and brawl with Shamrock dominating. They both end up filthy thanks to the floor of this dirty bar. They brawl into the back and the camera isn’t mobile enough to follow them so we get a cracking shot of a corridor with a man waving frantically to follow. He can’t! The cable is too short! Lawlor spends a lot of time choking Shamrock with various implements. Shamrock eventually gets the anklelock and that finishes with Lawlor trying to use the bar to escape. This was weird. For starters Shamrock looked like Robert DeNiro playing Ken Shamrock.

BBShamrock

Secondly Lawlor had ‘sponsors’ on his trunks including Durex in his crotch, which is surely a rib but why would you belittle yourself? Thirdly the match had almost no structure and felt like it was called on the fly. It was easily the most boring thing on the show and the culmination of a series of poor ideas and a weak concept.

Final Rating: *

 

Summary:

I like trying different things. The idea of the Ultimate Bar Brawl appealed to me and my sensibilities. It started badly. The opening thirty minutes of nothing was strange. The opening match was downright bad. Then it picked up a bit with the ODB match and the Janela appearance. It stayed interesting throughout the tag although the finish of that match was downright disgusting. Then tailed off during the main event. So we got four matches in a dirty Atlanta bar of high concept fighting and my star ratings peaked at **1/2 because I dug the amount of drinking done in the name of art. So while it’s an interesting idea the execution didn’t work for me and it’s basically 70 minutes of poor work. At least the show wasn’t three hours long I guess.

 

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