Inter Species Wrestling Boner Jam IV: Balls Out (4.4.19) review

Inter Species Wrestling Boner Jam IV: Balls Out (4.4.19) review

Inter Species Wrestling Boner Jam IV

 

April 4 2019

 

We’re in Jersey City at White Eagle Hall. I’ve never seen Inter Species Wrestling before. I am terrified at the prospect. For those keeping score at home this is my 23rd show of Mania weekend. ISW has some great rules.

 

Werewolf of Wall Street vs. Tony Deppen vs. Jigsaw vs. Sanchez

ISW1Werewolf

This is Inter Species Wrestling so we have a wolf in the opener. He marks his territory by peeing on an opponent. Not actually, just yanno cocking his leg. This is so bright and breezy that if the whole thing is like this opener, with it’s hot crowd, I could find myself watching these on regularly. The dives end up in the crowd. Everyone looks happy. It’s very much my shit. I love how Werewolf of Wall St uses a back rake and it’s sold so much. Sanchez gets the pin on Deppen and this was so easy to watch. Just fun spots, quick action and good effort and antics.

Final Rating: ***

 

Daniel Makabe vs. Jae Rukin

Makabe wipes out Rukin on a tope before we start. It’s a very aggressive version of Makabe who’s usually a patient mat technician. The suplex with floatover into pin is beautiful. I’ve seen a lot of Makabe, and indeed interviewed him, and his work impresses me a great deal. Hopefully people get to know him better from his work here. Makabe does a lot of odd thigh slaps here; perhaps trying to cate to the noise loving American public. Rukin is a powerful individual. I think I’ve seen him before. Makabe controls a lot of the pace with his technical skill and the mat counters are clever and well executed.

ISW1Rukin

Rukin gets the rear naked choke and submits Makabe in a nice little mat match. I could have gone for more time on it but it keeps with the feel of a spritely show.

Final Rating: ***1/4

 

Gym Nasty Boyz (White Mike & Timmy Lou Retton) vs. Team Tremendous (Bill Carr & Dan Barry)

ISW1Barry

This is a tiny bit awkward but Dan Barry looks like he’s having a good time and I’m happy for him. I know he’s working hurt and I know I’ve been hard on him before. They do some very silly stuff here including Carr getting his braces snapped back onto his nipples. None of these guys are in particularly good shape but they work well together and have a fun match. They do comedy and dives and I love it. Team Tremendous are extremely capable in the right environment and this show is perfect for them. Speaking of perfect; the ref here is Girl Hebner, aka Aubrey Edwards, one of my favourite referees. The Gym Nasties pull out the upset win. Good stuff.

Final Rating: ***1/4

 

ISW Falls Count Anywhere Championship

Sexxxy Eddy (c) vs. Swoggle

ISW1Eddy

Swoggle falls over during his entrance. I shouldn’t laugh but it is funny.

ISW1Swoggle

Swoggle hits Eddy in the groin and then they do shots. Back in the ring Eddy dishes out some receipts to the groin and rides the world famous midget like a horsey. This is my kinda wrestling. The ref takes a shot to the cobs as well and Eddy wins by hitting Swoggle with the belt. This was fucking great. I won’t hear a word said against a match with this many low blows.

Final Rating: ***

 

Food Fight Invitational

They have covered the ring so that it’s not totally ruined.

ISW1crustacean

This is a crazy match. They have a nunchucks made of carrots.

They do a conchairto with two bags of crisps and I have to applaud that creativity.

ISW1pineapple

ISW1Boris

This is ridiculous. One ridiculous thing after another happens and I am here for it. There’s a same sex hug that involves balls being rubbed on a bear. There’s pineapple assaults. There’s food everywhere. “I don’t know what that is but it looks delicious”. Bowling melons. The budget for this match is higher than most indie shows. They make a ramen table and hit a 3D through it. Sean Henderson superkicks Terra for the win. “The boyhood dream has come true”.

Final Rating: I can’t rate this. I can rate nut shots but I don’t what this is. It’s going in the recs list though. Love it.

 

Fluffy the Killer Bunny vs. Leon St Giovanni

ISWLeon

This is Leon. Fluffy is enormous. Leon bounces off on a crossbody. “Why do people do that?” “Crossbodies or wrestling in general?” Comms also calls the “house show dive”. Wait, Leon’s moustache is fake! This whole thing is a sham. Fluffy ripping it off is one of the most devastating spots of the weekend. Leon has a lot of joy from slapping Fluffy’s big ears. Comms call the heel manager four different name at least during the match. I have no idea what his name is but every time it’s different I’m laughing. Powerbomb finishes Leon and Fluffy gets the duke.

Final Rating: He tore his moustache off!

 

The Ugly Ducklings vs. The Butcher & The Blade

ISW1Butcher

I am legitimately terrified. Andy Williams scared me in Bloodsport but here with that weirdo Pepper Parks and his freaky mask behind him and that goddamn monocle. Fuck off! I like the Ugly Ducklings a lot but they get killed here. They have to come back with crazy dives and whatnot. It’s a great little match. It clearly marks the show becoming more serious. There’s a fantastic spot where Duckling do Launchpad McQuack and Williams just shuts it down and powerbombs one guy into the other. I love that freaky power stuff and creative flippy tag moves. It’s everything I want! Williams suplexes Rob over Pepper’s knees and that’ll do it. This was great. Legitimately good.

Final Rating: ***1/2

 

Chris Brookes vs. Chris Dickinson

ISW1Dick

Brookes plays this as the underdog dim-witted antagonist heel, which is something he’s very good at. Girl Hebner loses track of the match and it goes all over the building. Poor Papa Hales almost gets wiped out but thankfully moves before the inevitable Brooksing. Kid Lykos gets involved throughout, dirty wolf, but that is keeping in line with the name of the promotion. Girl Hebner cuts off the sick fucking tag moves, kicks Kid Lykos in the balls and Dickinson gets the win.

Final Rating: ***1/2

 

Lego Deathmatch

Inter Species Championship

Addy Starr (c) vs. Matt Tremont vs. Jeff Cannonball vs. Nick Gage

Are you a shot caller or are you a cop caller? MDK. Eastern Block. H8 Club. Gang affiliated. Gage is the least frightening opponent for Addy Starr. Tremont and Cannonball are enormous. They both have wiffle bats with legos all over them.

ISW1legos

I love how this show has gone from goofy matches, low blows and food fights into their version of a death match with legos. Love it.

ISW1Gage

Tremont and Cannonball bleed all over the place and there’s legos everywhere. It’s madness. Gage tries to suplex Cannonball on the floor and it goes wrong. He’s drop on his gourd and “I’m legitimately concerned for his safety”. They all kill each other here. Cannonball takes a horrible looking powerbomb into legos through a box. Addy Starr is kicking out of everything here. Tremont gets the Superfly Splash on Addy and he wins the belt. Gage got the break up on the pin a second too late. I love that he looks mad that he didn’t win a match in Legos for Inter Species Wrestling. I love it.

Final Rating: ***1/2

 

Summary:

This show had masked animals, technical excellence, comedy cops, low blows, food fights, fake moustaches, scary masks, badass referees and a convicted bank robber fighting with Legos. What else do you want from professional wrestling?

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