GOOD Wrestling 6: Danger! Danger! High Voltage!
January 20 2018
Anyone that loves Electric Six is ok by me. We’re in Milton Keynes at the Crauford Arms, one of BritWres’ super secret top notch venues. There are six matches on this card but lads, I am here for BIG GRIZZLY vs. Wild Boar. What an inspired piece of booking that is from the East boys.
Warren Banks vs. Beano vs. Sierra Loxton vs. Candyfloss vs. Love Making Demon
Sierra, or “Siearra” as she appears on the match graphic is making her GOOD debut. Beano’s breakdancing antics are a highlight here, in this elimination match. Beano has a solid comedic gimmick and the dance moves are a treat. It’s also notable that Candy has shown big improvements since her debut.
The British women’s scene is rapidly growing into a successful area of grappling. The opening match is goofy and super sexy thanks to Love Making Demon.
Banks knees Demon in the face for the first, and sexiest, elimination. Candy does some quality sugar based work, needing a fix after running the ropes, and gobbling down a handful of sweeties for a sugar rush dive. One of the highlights of GOOD in general is that their filming style is different to everywhere else. They’re close to the action, there’s no hard-cam, and it feels almost cinematic. Plus the red mat and ropes give them a distinctive vibe, along with the dingy lighting. Loxton puts Candy out with a powerbomb, ending a good little sequence between them. Banks follows shortly afterwards, courtesy of Beano. Sierra’s protests at the finale “my arms a bit sore” set up a plucky underdog fight against Beano. Sierra’s hip attack in the corner is vicious. That should be her finish. Instead she cuts Beano down with a spear for the win. This was a fun ten minute match with plenty of comedy and innovation. I like a lot of these characters and it’s pretty cool they had a ten minute five-way match where every wrestler stood out.
Final Rating: ***
Wild Boar vs. BIG GRIZZLY
This is a dream match, for anyone who’s familiar with these two. Boar is a bruiser but he’s compact. GRIZZLY is, as his name suggests, big.
This is significantly harder hitting than the opener and a nice contrast. They play it for laughs but then get progressively more serious. They do continue to leave light-hearted moments in there, like Boar’s diminutive stature but they leather each other too. GRIZZLY does sensational ‘smash opponent with beer’ work as he manages to down the entire beer before hitting Boar with the empty plastic glass. I respect that! He’s a big thirsty man.
Boar manages to get the upper hand in this by just throwing himself at GRIZZLY without any regard for his own body. When Boar starts to throw BIG GRIZZLY around that’s when the match starts getting really impressive. Boar’s strength is deceptive. Despite the theme of the contest being Boar overcoming GRIZZLY’s sheer size the culmination of this is BIG GRIZZLY picking up the win. This was, to quote Jim Ross, a slobberknocker.
Final Rating: ***3/4
Post Match: Gene Munny arrives, saying he had a “cheeky peak” at that last match. “I’ve beaten him and he’s beaten you, so I’ve technically beaten you”. Munny looks as if he’s going to get beaten up so he asks CCK to come out here but, let’s face it, they’re at Rev Pro. Gene makes the call.
“What the fuck do you mean you’re at Rev Pro?”
GRIZZLY runs Munny off and as the crowd serenade him “cheerio” chants he mutters “this isn’t very nice”. Why is Gene Munny not being booked everywhere?
Bowlarama vs. Sweet Jesus
It’s kinda weird how Mambo has spent longer fine-tuning his gimmick then Eaver and has somewhat surpassed him. Which is something I never thought would happen. Fat Cat has the banter element of GOOD down and runs a constantly commentary on the action while competing. This is how GOOD works! I’m particularly pleased with his “what the fuck is this?” response to being trapped by Eaver’s Jesus powers.
The back and forth nature of the comedy is a major highlight of this one. Eaver’s gimmick didn’t get over as well as expected in GOOD the first time but Mambo is there to enhance it and Bowlarama to react to it and it works. They do some good work with the bowling ball too and much fun is had by all. There’s one really sloppy spot where Eaver has a crucifix on Katt and Mambo dropkicks him. The resultant pinning combination leaves a lot to be desired. It’s almost played off as being comedy though so they almost get away with it. Sweet Jesus go over. I had a nice time.
Final Rating: **1/2
Ashley Dunn vs. Anthony Mafia
Mafia trying to teach foolhardy fans how to say “brap” is good for chuckles. And he’s the heel! He also makes fun of the quality of the ring (“I almost cut myself on this pointy thing”). I’ve not seen much of Mafia but he looks pretty slick in the exchanges. If GOOD had a ‘cruiserweight’ division this would be it. Dunn tends to be involved in the quicker paced GOOD bouts. It being so fast paced, it’s more prone to errors and they completely whiff on the one strike, although Mafia makes light of it. I do like how GOOD feels like a training ground for banter. Ashley Dunn tries hard here, as he always does. I don’t quite understand why he’s not advanced anywhere (with Chapman and Lias getting ahead of him in the Rev Pro picking order). Dunn’s intensity and hard-hitting in this one make for a surprisingly strong-style experience. Some of the spots are a little rough. Mafia is definitely the less smooth of the duo. He started wrestling earlier but he’s been in less places and the lack of ring-time is notable. They do insert a clever spot where Dunn hits a Canadian Destroyer and Mafia has the ring presence to grab the rope instead of inserting a dramatic kick-out. The crowd turn on the referee for counting a pin when neither shoulder is down and chant “we want Graham” (the normal ref). The match probably goes on a little too long, past the logical conclusion for such a hard-hitting bout and there’s no doubt Dunn is the stand out. Too many of Mafia’s spots are untidy. He also picks up the win. It’s a pity they didn’t finish this on the Destroyer because I didn’t like anything they did after it.
Final Rating: **3/4
Nina Samuels, Jayde & Sofia Ari vs. The Hunter Brothers & Beano
Double duty for Beano! Logically in an intergender six-person tag the women would be babyfaces but they’re not here. It’s probably Nina’s influence. She is a definitive heel. I’ve seen Jayde before but Sofia Ari is new on me. Nina perhaps errs by yelling “he’s beating up a girl”, which draws attention to the intergender nature of the contest and lessens their importance in it.
Perhaps the intended insinuation was that Sofia is a “girl” while she’s a woman. It leads to one wag in the crowd yelling “he’s enjoying it” as Beano gets a Unicorn Stampede off the three ladies across the ring. Something intergender wrestling has enjoyed of late is ignoring the genders and just wrestling. Omari vs. Millie McKenzie in FCP is a prime example. Nixon Newell and Kay Lee Ray too. This match is at it’s best when Nina Samuels is in there because she’s closer to her male opponents in terms of skill and experience. When Jayde is in there it’s like they’re walking through treacle at times. She’s far too eager to not make a mistake. It’s the opposite of Anthony Mafia who threw himself into everything whether he was confident it would land or not. It’s noticeable that Nina appears in the tougher sequences. The big six-person spot is a Russian legsweep chain, which is a new one. Jayde nut shots one of the Hunter’s for the pin. This one suffered from a mixture of ability levels and varying ambitions.
Final Rating: **1/4
The Gene Munny Certificate of Excellence Championship
Gene Munny (c) vs. Mike Bird
“One megaton of sexual gammon. The meat in your coffee” – Gene Munny, ladies and gentlemen.
This is the first “all ginger main event in wrestling history”. That might actually be accurate. They claim, pre-match, that this will be “better than Steve Austin vs. The Rock”. “Why did he say Austin-Rock, why couldn’t it have been Glacier vs. someone?” – Bird. Mike plays Austin while Munny plays Rock…to a degree. They throw in the odd spot. Munny is probably the best comedy wrestler in the business and nobody knows about him. I drafted him in the Eurodraft though so I consider us both winners in that regard. Bird works in a lot of chops causing the odd “ow, me tits”. “What else does the Rock do?” I love that Munny actually sells pain from punching someone. Punches are dumb. When the debate over swearing comes up, because it might be PG, Gene asks if anyone is under 16. One person shouts yes. “Fuck you”. Beautiful. When they start getting actually serious about doing Austin-Rock and doing all the spots it becomes less fun. Mainly because punching is rubbish and both these guys (Austin and Rock) were super punchy. They don’t even stick to Austin-Rock by switching to duelling Hulk Hogan impressions. It’s almost like they’re totally fucking around. Bird’s reaction to Munny kicking out of the big leg drop is hilarious though:
“But that put away Andre the Giant! He’s only a medium sized man”. The reveal of Gene’s tattoo and the constant stream of gags make this genuinely amusing. I find myself laughing out loud at an interval of ten seconds or so. ‘CCK’ arrive to distract (it’s Warren Banks and Ashley Dunn in masks) and a distracted Mike Bird eats the Ainsley Lariat for the loss. This was fantastic, honestly. I can’t in good grace give it a high star rating but for entertainment value this was pure.
Final Rating: ***1/2
GOOD shows are increasingly becoming a form of stand-up. All the wrestlers deliver a comedy-heavy performance. I legitimately love GOOD shows. I find myself chuckling throughout, along with the fans. Just remember; “Kid Lykos has always been black you racists”.