GOOD Wrestling 5: Keep On Movin’
September 16 2017
We’re in Milton Keynes at the Crauford Arms. A historic venue for GOOD wrestling shows. You can, should you desire, purchase this show at https://vimeo.com/goodwrestling
Chuck Mambo vs. Anthony Mafia vs. Fowler vs. Jayde vs. Lloyd Katt vs. Panda Cub
It’s 6-way scramble madness! Lloyd Katt minus Splits is a bit weird. I’m so used to seeing Bowl-a-Rama together that Katt solo is odd. Jayde is a big prospect but she’s really green at the moment. This is in evidence in the early going with Fowler. When you are aiming to hit someone and they’re going to dodge it, don’t aim over their head or it’s totally unbelievable. Jayde puts Fowler out. Panda Cub causes chuckles after that by yelling “have this ya floozy” while diving at Jayde. I don’t remember ever having seen Anthony Mafia before. He looks like a young Darryl Allen with the beginnings of a Funkasaurus beard. Chuck Mambo has started to come into his own as an Indie wrestler and he does fine work here, especially with Katt. Our Lloyd is looking a little cumbersome and can’t be bothered to take a bump. “I’m slow and you’re making me look fast” – Mambo. This brings out the spirit of LuchaKatt.
Until he gets outwitted by wacky submissions. There’s a huge amount of banter and the ring is microphoned up perfectly to capture it all. One of my complaints about Fight Club Pro or Progress is that if you miss the live show you miss the essence of the atmosphere. Witty comments are often spoken, not yelled. That’s true throughout this match. Mambo does his excessive elbow pads People’s Elbow but this time on multiple recipients. Katt goes bowling. “Please I’m an endangered species” from Panda Cub has me in bits. It’s a world of comedy. Somehow all this leads to Mambo pinning Mafia with Meteora. Katt pins Mambo. Cub pins Katt. The profane opener is capped off by Jayde yelling “get up you cunt” to poor little Panda Cub before beating him with Eat Defeat. Jayde is not a popular winner due to her horrible behaviour towards an endangered species. Everyone looked ok here but it was a comedy heavy opener. Nothing wrong with that. I love a laugh.
Final Rating: ***
Pastor William Eaver vs. Earl Black Jr
Eaver hasn’t been working in Progress much recently so he needs to make a solid impression wherever else he gets a gig. EBJ rather shatters the mythical superpowers angle by not selling it but in doing so claims Eaver doesn’t have a “Bible licence” and once again I’m chuckling. There’s a lot to be said for letting wrestlers be daft. It’s what they’re best at. As the match progresses EBJ finds himself more susceptible to Eaver’s Jesus based antics. The match comes across as a bit flat, especially as the focus is on Eaver’s magic and EBJ, for whatever reason, doesn’t seem interested and the crowd even less so. Sometimes people just don’t click and that seems to be the case here. Black does try very hard once it’s apparent they’re not having a banger and his blizzard of suplexes makes amends for everything else. EBJ eventually falls foul of the magic and the crucifix bomb finishes. I really struggled to get into this. Eaver tried to bring his Progress act onto the smaller Indies and struggled to make it relatable outside of where he’s grown up. Nobody plays along with his magic post match either, which would worry me if I were the Pastor.
Final Rating: *3/4
El Phantasmo vs. Rickey Shane Page
Page considers removing a light from the ceiling but El Phantasmo isn’t into death matches. Plus we’re on third here, so there’s no time for the clean-up that usually follows a RSP match. He’s made a rod for his back with the hardcore stuff because people just expect it, even though he’s a capable technician. I’ve only seen Rickey live once and he bled on me. Phantasmo does the rope walking, which is a mistake in the Crauford Arms due to the low ceiling. He clunks his head on the same light fitting RSP was examining.
One of the best things about GOOD Wrestling is the cameras they use. They are excellent so the shots occasionally look like cinematic quality. The stills should reflect this. It’s rich. Like Lucha Underground only with lighting that allows you to see. I also like the extreme profanity. Everyone swears like a sailor at GOOD shows. If only they could attract a crowd that made a little more noise. El Phantasmo is into his comedy and makes me smile throughout the match by making fun of the scenario. RSP hits some cool looking stuff but the two worlds never quite meet. Like the last match there are definite chemistry issues. They do a nice finishing sequence where Phantasmo flips out of a chokeslam and goes into a Canadian Destroyer. Hey, Canadian Destroyer being a finisher is fine by me. It gets way overused as a transition nowadays. A big guy like Page taking it is especially violent. This didn’t do a lot for me. I like both guys but I didn’t enjoy them as a match.
Final Rating: **1/2
Wait though, wait, it’s time for the most prestigious championship in British Wrestling. Nay, global wrestling, the Gene Munny Certificate of Excellence!
Gene Munny Certificate of Excellence Challenge
Gene is backed up by an extremely chavvy looking Brookes & Lykos.
Gene has sellotaped the certificate to an actual belt, confirming its status as the most prestigious championship. Not only is it a certificate but it’s also a belt. Panda Cub answers the challenge but CCK beat him down and Munny finishes with the Ainsley Lariat in less than ten seconds. Not satisfied with this business Gene demands another opponent and gets Graham the referee.
Graham gets a bit carried away and demands the bell rung himself. Poor Graham gets murdered, after lots of banter. Chris Brookes helpfully performs the last rites on the dead referee. But it’s not yet over! A third challenger emerges;
Gene Munny vs. Eddie Dennis
Gene is a big fella so Eddie doesn’t immediately overpower him with sheer size like most Indie guys. They do run the dynamic that Eddie has more power but that’s mainly because Munny is a heel, not because of a big size difference. Gene Munny’s biggest achievement in this match is handily out-grossing Brookes by picking Eddie’s nose and eating it himself. He needs to be careful, he’ll be repackaged as a modern day Bastion Booger. The match barely sticks to the rules of pro wrestling and Eddie powerbombs the ref over the top rope onto CCK at one point. Eddie then has the temerity to moan about the ref not being there to count a pin. You threw him over the top rope! CCK interfere regularly and this allows Gene to finish with the Ainsley Lariat. This was typically fun stuff from Gene, who’s taking his role as the promotion’s ace very seriously.
Final Rating: ***1/4
Love Making Demon vs. Jack Sexsmith
‘Demon’ doing double duty I see. Ahem. The beauty of a masked man is it could be anyone under there. Meanwhile Jack has finished off his feud with EBJ and is up for some fun.
Sexsmith tries to be more serious than usual, pointing out his “career” is important only for Love Making Demon to do lot of goofy sex stuff. Every time Demon does something that’s actually wrestling Sexsmith yells “better” at him. It’s a delight. There’s a lot of crotch related business and the crowd happily chant “this is normal”. Sexsmith being incredulous about someone using daft moves is good stuff, turning his own gimmick around on him and showing how he himself has evolved. There are a lot of nut shots. Jack’s “I’m sorry, I love you” before the Stinkface is pure genius. Jack has a little trouble with Mr Cocko but gets the crossface for the submission in the end, concluding a hugely entertaining comedy match.
Final Rating: ***1/2
Kyle Fletcher vs. Ashley Dunn
Ashley, the UK’s third best Dunn(e), has gained a new nickname “The Mindsweeper”. I have no idea what that means. He wrestles in a t-shirt to my absolute horror and wears one black and one red kick-pad. You’re a fashion disaster mate! This is the kind of match you can only get in BritWres at the moment. Dunn comes from the Andy Boy Simmonz Portsmouth school style and Fletcher from the wicked strong Australian scene. They click nicely and beat the shit out of each other. The part that drags the crowd in is not only the stiffness on display but also the interaction; with both of them toppling into the front row with great regularity. Dunn turns in a really good performance here from his strikes to his flips to his personality. It’s a good all-round package. He’s been working toward this for some time and it’s nice to see it coming to fruition. He’s not the finished article just yet but he’s a lot closer than he was. He’s tidy, fluid and his timing, especially on the kick-outs, has improved immensely. They do fuck up on one strike, where Dunn misses a Pele Kick by some distance and Fletcher sells it anyway but it’s a blip in an otherwise excellent match up. They pull me in with the false finishes and the crowd get all fired up. The big spots are brutal as fuck and the brainbuster that Fletcher finishes with is of the vertical drop variety and has me cringing. Excellent work lads. Snug realistic work throughout and if it wasn’t for that one Pele Kick this could have gone north of four.
Final Rating: ****
CZW World Tag Team Championships
#CCK (c) vs. The Marauders
This is certainly something! Two of my favourite tag teams in the UK today clashing for an American title.
Graham the Referee takes over here, ordering CCK back into the ring or they’ll lose the titles. Brookes is fucking hilarious, getting wound up by the referee and freaked out by Graham’s unusually through search of Kid Lykos. The match has confusing rules, or lack thereof, with Graham confused as to whether he should do count-outs or not and Bird yelling that there are no rules. This leads to plunder shots that are blatantly illegal but it is for the CZW titles so it should be no DQ. The lack of announcement causes the issues. “Graham, he hit him with a baking tray. Where were your rules then you dick?” – Brookes. When they’re not fucking around and they do the actual wrestling part of the match, albeit under tornado rules, it’s bloody good. The confusion over the rules hampers the match and it takes them time to settle into it. Somebody should have had a chat with Graham beforehand. The potential was there for this to be outstanding. The Bird/Brookes “Fuck Jackie Chan” sequence has me chuckling. Unfortunately the video goes wonky and the finish is missing but it’s a good match regardless. The little note about the video issues is good comedy so I’ll cut them some slack. #CCK retain.
Final Rating: ***1/2
The second half of this show was great and most of the first half was fun. If you skip Eaver/Black and Phantasmo/Page (no offence lads) I reckon this would be a cracking watch. The show has a lot of variety and a lot of quality and for the price GOOD’s VOD costs that equates to good times on the cheap.