CMLL Super Viernes review (2.9.18)

CMLL Super Viernes review (2.9.18)

CMLL Super Viernes

 

February 9 2018

 

We’re in Mexico City at the Arena Mexico and we’re here because I enjoyed my first dip into CMLL so much (despite not understanding half of it) that I’m back for more. This is a 2 hour TV block, which makes my life easier and it’s on YouTube so anyone can watch it.

 

 

Magia Blanca & Magnus vs. El Hijo del Signo & Yago

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Magnus, the lunatic, is wearing a ref’s shirt.

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Yago is wearing…what the hell is that? Argh, my nightmares. I may never sleep again. You know I’ve always had issues with lucha because when it’s done badly, it’s a fucking train wreck. The early sequences with Yago and Magia Blanca remind me of what I hate. The technicos go 1-0 rapidly by pinning both rudos in quick succession. The second fall isn’t any better with Yago being particularly terrible. At least this fall has Magica Blanca doing a few flippido’s, where he excels. The rudos can’t even chop someone at the same time. When you have that total lack of chemistry and timing it’s an uphill struggle. They do a powerbomb on the ramp and El Hijo del Signo fells the urge to Irish whip Magia Blanca into it. My eyes are still rolling. Then they botch the big comeback spot. It’s such a staggeringly bad match it almost ends my viewing of the show. Maybe that one show where I enjoyed myself was a one-off? The rudos pick up the win with more terrible work, this time from Magnus, underrotating on a Destroyer and then failing horribly to sell the submission which followed. Jesus this was bad.

Final Rating: *

 

Kaho Kobayashi, Marcela & Princesa Sugehit vs. Dalys la Caribena, La Amapola & Zeuxis

Dalys is Negro Casas’ wife. Sugehit was in the Mae Young Classic. Kaho is Japanese. I recognised her immediately. Given that the image of the luchadore is a skinny dude who does flips it’s bizarre how many of these women are heavyweights. Although the same could be said of many of the successful male wrestlers in Mexico.

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Basically all the skinny ridiculous super workers go elsewhere, leaving the rest behind. Sugehit and Dalys are the captains. So given the rules of trios matches either they get beaten to lose a fall, or you have to beat the other two back to back. Amapola (which stands for Ask Me Anything Pattle of Los Angeles) is a total bitch and regularly ruins the other women, while screaming her frustrations at the crowd. Kaho looks tiny in there with all the others, who are bigger and stronger, and her attempts at strong style are met with disdain. It’s a definite issue facing the smaller Japanese wrestlers, when they run head-long into much bigger opponents. Marcela is fairly violent but I wouldn’t say she was a good wrestler. She picks up the opening fall by dropping Zeuxis on her head. Meanwhile Sugehit makes Amapola tap while Dalys is busy being flattened by a Kaho dive.

 

The second fall is a bit of a mess. Amapola is particularly bad. Her running ‘hip attack’ is awful. Luckily Sugehit quits to a double chickenwing in fairly short order so this match can get straight in the fucking bin.

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Oh no, there’s a third fall. Team Dalys get their teamwork together for the final fall, putting together some far superior moves than I’m used to. The technicos respond in kind, with a faster pace and better teaming. It’s still not great but fall three is easily the best of the three falls. Marcela gets herself pinned and Zeuxis murders Kaho with a Package Piledriver for the win. Third fall saved a dire match and turned it into an ok one.

Final Rating: **1/4

 

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Forastero vs. El Cuatrero vs. Sanson vs. Mascara Ano 2000 vs. Mr Niebla vs. El Terrible vs. Shocker vs. Euforia

This is under Battle Royal rules. All of these men are involved in this evenings Torneo National de Parajas Increibles. Presumably the winners gets preferential treatment of some fashion? I wish I could speak more languages. Japanese, German and Spanish in particular. As the match progresses it seems the elimination order determines who the wrestlers team with. Shocker looks old as fuck. He still thinks he’s 1000% guapo but he’s also 100% horribly out of shape. Mascara Ano 2000 and Shocker are left in the ring at the end and the match just ends. Are they both too old to go over the top rope or something? Uh.

Final Rating: DUD

 

El Cuatrero & Angel de Oro vs. Mr Niebla & Atlantis

Basically we have one half of the tournament here tonight so whoever wins tonight’s first round matches will progress to the quarter finals. QF winners meet in a semi-final and the winner of that advances to a final at a later date, against the winner of the other half of the draw. The tag partners don’t always get along tonight.

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It’s a mixture of rudo’s and technico’s. This horseshoe masked motherfucker (Cuatrero) keeps interfering and nobody likes that. At least the standard here is decent. Even if Cuatrero wants to fight everyone, including his own tag team partner. While they’re brawling Niebla and Atlantis roll them both up to advance and leave them fighting afterwards. Cuatrero was a fairly spectacular asshole here.

Final Rating: ***

 

Stuka Jr & Forastero vs. Rush & El Terrible

It seems Rush orchestrated Terrible being eliminated when he was in order to get an LIJ team together in the tournament. The LIJ pairing both benefit from an overindulgence in Soul Glo.

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Rush looks like he works for Barbara Streisand. Possibly as a fitness guru, possibly as a hair stylist. Alternatively he may have a job working for a Columbian drug cartel.

Or centre forward for Club America. He’s everything! The technicos have a stab at winning this but it’s not happening, despite some delightful topes (Forastero doesn’t give a fuck about his own wellbeing) and LIJ double team for the win.

Final Rating: **3/4

 

Dragon Lee & Sanson vs. Caristico & Euforia

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Dragon Lee and Caristico are the kind of wrestlers that you want from lucha libre. Two nutballs who go 100mph. Both of which have cool looking masks. Dragon Lee was well on his way to being ‘the guy’ for CMLL until Caristico started having blinders with Volador Jr. The idea of them now clashing makes me pretty excited. Their segments here are fast-paced with lots of showy near misses. Much like in terms of their recent successes Caristico just about edges it. Caristico was well on his way to being one of the world’s most famous and successful wrestlers until a disastrous WWE run as Sin Cara derailed it. Now there’s another Sin Cara, and another Mistico, so he’s had to rebrand and start again. Dragon Lee is just a touch off his pace, leading to disappointing whiffs on dropkicks and such. Caristico catches Dragon Lee with a DDT for the win. Euforia celebrating the fact he managed to keep Sanson subdued while it happened. I still look back on the whole Mistico/Sin Cara deal and wonder how it failed. I wasn’t watching at the time so I literally don’t know. He looked good here.

Final Rating: ***1/4

 

Shocker & Marco Corleone vs. Blue Panther Jr & Mascara Ano 2000

It’s weird to me that Mark Jindrak is still a thing. As if he was hiding away down in Mexico all this time, unbeknownst to me. He’s been working consistently down here since 2006. I’m so intrigued by it I need to do a quick thing. WCW. The later days.

 

Where are they now?

Sugar Shane Helms. OMEGA graduate, turned WCW and WWF superstar “The Hurricane”. Stayed in that one-note comedy gimmick until turning heel and becoming Gregory Helms. Left WWE in 2010 and has been working the grottiest of Indies ever since, bar appearing in the 2018 Royal Rumble.

 

Evan Karagias. Not signed by WWE, because he sucked (and got concussed), ended up working for XPW (twice) and retiring. He’s made minor comebacks but now works in finance back home in North Carolina (according to Wikipedia).

 

Jamie Noble. Had a fairly successful WWE run before being let go for buying illegal drugs. Found huge success in ROH, winning their title, came back and worked for WWE until now. He’s Office. Retired effectively in 2009, but has had one-off bouts.

 

Kaz Hayashi. Moved back to Japan and had a good run in AJPW. Currently has a hand in running Wrestle-1.

 

Shannon Moore. Signed by WWE before heading back onto the Indies in 2008. Worked TNA for a while. Still wrestling, albeit infrequently as of 2018.

 

Jimmy Yang. Given a cowboy gimmick by WWE. Left there in 2010 and hooked up with his old buddy Kaz in AJPW. Retired 2013, aged just 31. He runs multiple shady businesses including a pest control service and party buses out of Cincinnati.

 

Chuck Palumbo. Had two WWE stints before retiring. He makes custom motorcycles, has a band and his daughter is a DJ. Life after wrestling.

 

Sean O’Haire. Absolutely ‘can’t miss’ talent who the WWE dropped the ball on. Went into MMA, with no success there either. Got into trouble with the law for domestic abuse and committed suicide in 2014. Fuck.

 

This isn’t fun anymore. Back to the match…

 

Shocker & Marco Corleone vs. Blue Panther Jr & Mascara Ano 2000

This is a weird match. Shocker is old and in horrible shape. Mascara Ano is old and in slightly better shape. So it’s left to Blue Panther and Corleone to not stink the joint up. They don’t bother with tags and the match is all brawling. Corleone dives into the ring and crossbodies both opponents for the pin.

Final Rating: *

 

Ok, on to the quarter-finals.

 

Rush & El Terrible vs. Mr Niebla & Atlantis

Rush gets a huge pop for taking off his t-shirt, which is what happens when you wrestle a t-shirt like you don’t give a shit all the time and then switch gears. LIJ shred Niebla’s mask. Rush getting fired up draws incredible reactions. People are jumping out of their seats for this guy! I know he’s pretty fucking handsome but he’s clearly killing it with the crowds south of the border. Imagine how handsome a team with Andrade Cien Almas would be? Reuniting Rush with the former La Sombra. I can’t believe they both wore masks. Shit, if I was that dashing I wouldn’t even consider it. This is another of those matches where there’s a fat old guy (Atlantis/Niebla) dragging the action down with their old fatness. Atlantis might have a great emotional connection to the fans but having missed his best work I find him a hard watch. El Terrible has the best moments in this; culminating in him windmilling at Niebla with strikes.

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LIJ just put a beating on these old bastards. It gets to the point where they can’t stand and LIJ advance to the semi’s. Brilliant!

Final Rating: ***

 

Marco Corleone & Shocker vs. Caristico & Euforia

Corleone and Shocker do a lot of posing. Caristico immediately shuts that down by superkicking Marco on the his manly jawline. They do some miscues and they’re not good. Euforia at one point kicking Caristico in the head, which looks very deliberate. Caristico splashes the useless old Shocker for the pin and Euforia rolls up Corleone to make sure.

Final Rating: *

 

Torneo National de Parejas Increibles 2018 Semi-Final

Rush & El Terrible vs. Caristico & Euforia

The massively truncated quarter final must be so they can have a blowaway semi right? Wrrrrrong! El Terrible pins Caristico with the Styles Clash in two minutes flat.

And then the referee gets what he deserves.

Final Rating: Total Squash

 

Volador Jr, Mistico & Diamante Azul vs. Ultimo Guerrero, El Barbaro Cavernario & Kraneo

Kraneo has one of the most bizarre entrances. It’s all Darth Vader until he hits the top of the ramp than it’s carnival time. Jesus mate, get a handle on that character! It’s all over the bleeding shop. Mistico, the shit one, is the captain of his team, Ultimo Guerrero the captain of the rudos. Kraneo though, a fat middle aged man dressed like a superhero who likes to dance. Rudos go up 1-0 after Kraneo hits a huge top rope splash on Azul. Cavernario pinning Volador with a splash from the other side, which looks bad. I don’t get these little throwaway pins but they have to do them because both the underlings must be pinned. Naturally the technicos level things up with dives and such and we’re into the final fall of this show. Volador pinning Guerrero helped matters here.

 

Volador confuses me here because he’s wrestling in the kind of shirt you expect to wear playing polo, not wrestling in. They do a whole bit about him taking it off and the crowd getting all excited.

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Cavernario does that spit thing that I hate and then the fucking Worm for good measure and we’re out of TV time because Cavernario quickly taps to an armbar so we can get out of here.

Final Rating: *3/4

 

Summary:

A bizarre show at times, this felt extremely rushed. Like half the first round matches overran so they had no time for a final and then tried to squeeze another match on after the tournament for good measure and rushed that too. Why even attempt 11 matches in 2 hours? The opening bouts and the final match felt like they added very little to the existing tournament set up anyway. Oh well, another intriguing look at CMLL here and I’ll be back for more at a later date.

 

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