Blitzkrieg Pro (We Gotta) Stay Positive
February 24 2018
We’re in Enfield, Connecticut at the Old Country Banquet Hall. This went out live on Powerbomb.tv. It’s the first time Blitzkrieg Pro has made it onto the live streaming gimmick. They’ve been around for three years so far. They’ve clearly not used to doing live commentary as there’s an echo that’s just awful. It comes and goes. There are definite issues regarding a lack of testing. They also have two commentators who sound exactly the same and have the same opinions.
The Batiri vs. Tracy Williams & Wheeler YUTA
The Batiri are a Chikara tag team. They know the aim of this match is get Wheeler YUTA over as a hot newcomer and do so selflessly. YUTA is a gifted wrestler, even if he reminds me very much of Angelico/El Phantasmo. It’s getting to be quite the common Indie look. The production has some lighting issues. The ring is too dark but the crowd is well lit. Why would you do that? Get some lights on the damn ring.
The match is fine but in no way special. Both teams have decent tag stuff but there’s no commanding personalities. The Batiri single out Wheeler YUTA for abuse and after a hot tag Wheeler is back in there and he gets double teamed to defeat. This was fine.
Final Rating: **3/4
Mangy Frank vs. Brett Domino
Ha, “Mangy Frank”. The name is a selling point. He’s not a dirty looking guy though. The trouble with some wrestlers is they don’t want to make themselves look bad to get over. Brett Domino has a valet carrying a mirror, a la Narcissist Lex Luger. This creates a clear-cut dynamic. Heel who thinks he’s beautiful versus face who’s half a step up from a hobo. People like underdogs. The match is pretty basic and Domino wins quickly with the downward spiral. Both guys need work on both the gimmick and the in-ring. This really felt like a match between two trainees.
Final Rating: *
Logan Black vs. Chuck O’Neil
Logan Black has been knocking around the New York scene for a decade and when you’re right there in one of the hotbeds of American wrestling and you’re still stuck in the minors it’s probably not going to happen for you. O’Neil on the other hand is an MMA fighter, turned pro wrestler, who’s only been wrestling for a few years. Chuck cuts a heel pre-match promo with his back to the hard cam. Logan Black is carrying quite a lot of weight but Chuck has no issues with throwing him around and kicking his ass. It’s clear who the potential star is and who the Indie journeyman is. They have a nicely violent match with Logan taking a huge overhead suplex on the floor.
Beefy Logan Black doesn’t take it lying down and they hit each other fairly hard. It’s a rock solid bout with Logan playing it like a Big Lads title match. I don’t get Chuck O’Neil playing heel and the way he uses distraction to get the choke out win is weird. Anyway, little qualms aside, this was decent. Chuck continues to choke out Logan Black after the match and the decision gets reversed. You’re an idiot Chuck O’Neil! You literally had the match won!
Final Rating: ***
Blitzkrieg Pro Bedlam Championship
“Smart” Mark Sterling (c) vs. Skylar
“Smart” Mark has a Professor gimmick a la Dean Douglas. Unlike Douglas he doesn’t do his own talking, having manager Sidney Bakabella do it for him. Can’t be that smart then. Red-headed female wrestler Skylar is the challenger. Sterling does a lousy job of selling for Skylar, treating her challenge like a joke. He doesn’t want to hit her and he gets rolled up a lot. The implication being that she doesn’t belong in the same ring. It’s an old school mentality and it takes a while to get past the character and into an actual match. Neither of them have the intergender experience to structure the match and the big spot; Sterling hitting a punch after refusing to earlier is even missed by the commentators. The match does make sense. Sterling at first not taking Skylar at all seriously before she nearly pins him. Then getting increasingly pissed off that she almost wins, finally getting a two-count that Sterling said she’d never get. It builds nicely and the crowd start buying into the possibility of Skylar winning. Some of the big counters don’t work at all. The rana out of the piledriver is very reliant on suspension of belief. Sterling taps while the ref isn’t looking and the manager smacks Skylar with a roll of quarters for the win.
Final Rating: **3/4
Scotty Wild & DL Hurst vs. Danny Miles & Wrecking Ball Legursky
Legursky is enormous. He’s a veritable wall, which is reflected by his gear, which is a drawing of a wall.
Wrecking Ball is 6’4” and over 400lbs. Miles has been around on the US Indies for years. He did a Zero1 tour a decade ago. It’s easy to get lost on the Indies and I really appreciate the guys who don’t quit. Miles is a good technician and a capable storyteller. His veteran instincts are what drive the match. Wild and especially Hurst look very green by comparison. Hurst is clearly focused on being safe first and nothing he does is convincing. Unfortunately the young guys are the heels so they isolate Miles for heat and apart from Miles no one can nail their role. Legursky eventually gets the hot tag and he’s good at the power stuff. As soon as he’s in there the match is over. Hurst takes a powerslam for the pin. I dread to think what this match would have been without Miles holding it together.
Final Rating: **1/4
Jeremy Leary vs. Sabu
Leary has been working for eight years, including breaking into Chikara last year. I accidentally typed his name as “Dennis Leary”. His opponent is a 53-year-old Sabu.
I never, in my wildest dreams, thought Sabu would still be wrestling in 2018 but here we are. Apart from being really slow he wrestles exactly the same too. The helper has changed; now a genie, but he’s still chucking chairs around and aiming to bust up some tables. Leary is here to take all the bumps and hold the shit together. He does a fine job of selling everything and just letting Sabu get the job done. Sabu really struggles to sell, sometimes collapsing, sometimes looking for the next spot. For his age it’s not a disaster and he lets the weapons do the work, rather than his broken body. Due to Sabu working smart (for him not his unfortunate opponent) it’s actually a better match than a lot of Sabu’s at his peak. They set up a table, which doesn’t fall over, and Leary takes the Arabian facebuster through it for the loss. This was fucking incredible. Sabu looked as good as he has in years. He’s fifty-fucking-three years old! But he’s looked like a terrible wrestler for years. How has he improved?
Final Rating: ***
Blitzkrieg Pro Tag Team Championship
The Breakfast Club vs. Massage NV vs. The Closers
I don’t know who any of these guys are so it’s a shot for six guys to get over with me in what is traditionally an exciting, spot-heavy contest. The Closers come out to Closing Time, which makes me hate them a bit. They look like pirates, or extras from a Mad Max film. Maybe both. Massage NV come out to “Relax” by Frankie Goes to Hollywood. I don’t get why anyone would have a massaging gimmick. Maybe that will become apparent as the match progresses. Having one of them wear a mask just makes the situation even creepier. The Breakfast Club could only possibly come out here to “Don’t You Forget About Me” and they don’t disappoint.
They do a good job of setting the table, showing who is good at what and especially the power of “Big Bacon” Brad Hollister. It becomes rapidly clear that the Breakfast Club are both horrible wrestlers (to the point where it seems deliberate) and the crowd opt for supporting the heel team of the Closers because they’re the best team. The ladder spots are all soft, which isn’t necessarily a bad thing but it’s certainly a thing. Nothing looks impactful at all, which is unfortunate as it’s following a Sabu match where he was hurling chairs at 100mph. They have some ideas, like Big Bacon hitting a German suplex on a guy carrying a ladder, which in turn wipes out two other guys. It’s when they do slow climbing spots that the innovation really kicks in, although it’s heavily reliant on those stupid slow climbing antics. The belts aren’t even that high. One guy on another’s shoulders could easily pull them down. The result is a dime store ladder match. Amateur hour, albeit with some good ideas.
The Closers come out as champions, after handcuffing one of the nerds to the ropes. Based on the performance the right team won. The Closers came across really well. Both of the other teams did not.
Final Rating: **3/4
Dick Justice vs. New Retro Malice vs. Hot Dog Starkes
Malice has gone 80s and has the Knight Rider theme as his entrance music.
Which is weird because immediately afterwards is “Supercop” Dick Justice coming out to the Police Academy music. Commentary discuss the possibility of a hot dog on a pole match and there’s killer Vince Russo impersonation that wins me over. He’s such a fucking idiot it’s like shooting fish in a barrel but those low hanging fruit are so tasty.
— Arn~! (@ArnoldFurious) February 28, 2018
This match has everything.
Doughnuts, cops, hot dogs. Malice takes a chokeslam on a box of doughnuts and this is fucking over folks. Devastating.
Final Rating: At least eleven stars.
Connor Braxton starts with Spore and eliminates him in about five seconds flat. He’s then joined by Kristen Stadtlander and Kai Katana. One of those is a good wrestler. The final entrant is Bobby Orlando. Why didn’t they just start all these guys together? The staggered entrances added nothing. My interest leans towards Braxton vs. Katana. Watching Kris Stadtlander try to figure out what she’s doing in the middle of a move is downright painful at times. She’s next out, thrown over the top. She needs matches. Braxton looks the best of the workers in this, both with his powerful spinebusters, big boots and the odd flying move. His covers are fucking lazy but everything else looks decent. He big boots Katana out of here and is immediately thrown over the top by Orlando. This was bad. Connor Braxton, who is 6’5”, is a big prospect.
Final Rating: ½*
Fire Ant vs. DJ Z
This is the main event. Fire Ant from Chikara, DJ Z formally of Impact. He must have figured he could be a star without the backing of Impact.
They start with some technical back and forth. Fire Ant is extremely good on the mat and DJ Z is his match at most of it. He has a tremendously grating gimmick where whenever he outwrestles Fire Ant he calls for an air horn. Man, that’s annoying/wonderful. DJ Z plays the cocky heel beautifully here, working over Fire Ant’s antennae.
— Arn~! (@ArnoldFurious) February 28, 2018
The match has some nice beats, rather than a bunch of shit tacked together. The character work is good and the work is logical. One thing leads to another. I like how DJ Z is hugely irritating in the early going but he doesn’t carry on doing that air horn business to totally derail the match. They work in a nice ref bump, which doesn’t look stupid or pre-planned. I also buy into the ref getting blasted with a superkick and that keeping him down. But then Kevin Quinn runs down here and DJ Z superkicks him and that’s lame as fuck. Way to blow the spot second time around lads. It’s a pity because the work is almost universally solid apart from that. DJ Z picks up the win courtesy of a Canadian Destroyer and a far less devastating DDT. Rating probably would have been a bit higher without that shit Kevin Quinn ref bump but this was clearly the best match on the show.
Final Rating: ***1/2
First time watching Blitzkrieg Pro and I doubt I’d go back if I’d been there live. The standard of wrestling was middling. The Sabu match was a nice surprise and the main event was good but wrestling has an incredibly high bar right now and this didn’t get over it.