ALL DOIN review (11.9.18)

ALL DOIN review (11.9.18)

ALL DOIN

 

November 9 2018

 

We’re in Tokyo, Japan at Shinkiba 1st Ring.

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This is DDT’s response to All In.

 

Fuminori Abe, Momo Ne & ZIMA Yoshida vs. Naoshi Sano, Big Bear & Movie Star

It’s ok to be confused here. I know Abe from Big Japan. I’ve seen most of his career. Sano is an aging journeyman who’s wrestled just about everywhere.  I have no idea who everyone else is.

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Movie Star has a special tactic of employing an inflatable to trap his opponents leg so he can jab at them. He’s a boxing luchadore (or something) and a parody I’m clearly missing the boat on. Big Bear is fairly inaccurately named as he’s the smallest man in the match but he sure loves his Old Man Sentons. Abe murders the poor old bastard with a half crab and that’s it. Abe was the boss of this but I didn’t really get a handle on anyone else apart from Movie Star and his weird boxing deal.

Final Rating: **

 

El Uranai vs. Cherry

Uranai is the world fortune telling champion. I had no idea that was a tournament. Maybe it happened in Rio. Uranai upsets Cherry by saying that she’s a bit of a failure because she’s not married yet. A saddened Cherry is emotionally broken down and collapses. It’s an excellent tactical approach by Uranai. Uranai pulls the Joey Ryan ‘grab my dick’ approach to further demonstrate his superiority but unfortunately for him he has Small Dick Energy. Based on Cherry’s estimation he’s packing a Mars fun size at best.

RDCherry.jpg(photo credit: dramaticddt.wordpress.com)

Uranai, ‘disarmed’, gets rolled up for the pin!

Final Rating: *1/2

 

Mizuhime Saijo vs. Hyper Misao

Misao you might know from Tokyo Joshi Pro where she’s the resident superhero.

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Misao breaks out the Pendulum of Pain so I’m all in on this. Saijo breaks out her super soaker but with the addendum that the water she fires only hurts those who don’t have a beautiful heart. Misao is all “shoot me, bitch, I’m a fucking hero”. I like how she’s briefly unphased by the water before collapsing in a screaming heap. Saijo also guns down several assistants around ringside and the ref. Misao recovers and rolls Saijo up with her feet on the rope. HERO!

Final Rating: **

 

Kentochu Miyahara & Fumihito Kihara vs. Yumehito Imanari & Mikiya Sasaki

Miyahara is not that Miyahara but he does come out to his music. And dressed like him. And doing all his poses.

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Imanari & Sasaki come out to the Funk’s music.

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And there we go. Imanari looks a lot like Katsuhiko Nakajima. He missed the boat there. The match plays off a lot of the tropes of the wrestlers that are being mimicked, which is a bit weird but not limited to Japanese wrestling. I saw a Randy Savage/Hulk Hogan sequence in a match last night in Milton Keynes. Miyahara makes me laugh the most by attempting the German suplex and having Sasaki just fall on top of him. It’s a tough suplex. Funk Spinning Toehold puts him away.

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It’s like looking into the heart of Amarillo itself.

Final Rating: **1/2

 

Invisible Man vs. Invisible Man #2

This match never happens because both guys die in a freak accident. We get a ten-bell salute to honour their memory.

 

100 Glow Sticks Battle Royal

The glow sticks are set up like light tubes on the ropes. The only participant I know is Sanshiro Takagi. Other competitors include Hen China, Kim Michinoku, Kim Yotchan and Kim Yotchan III.

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I dig them igniting glow sticks by hitting people with them. Kim Yotchan, pictured above, is out first. Takagi follows suit when Paul Ishida uses voodoo on him. He literally hammers a glow stick into Takagi’s 8×10 on a voodoo doll. Yotchan puts cream on his face to become Kim Yotchan V3. He’s also eliminated so he’s definitely out. Unless he Foley’s it and appears a third time. Which is exactly what happens as he reappears as Kim Michinoku. He has the TAKA mannerisms down pat. Especially the hair. Takagi also reappears wearing a grass skirt made of glow sticks, dancing to Bananarama. There are glowsticks everywhere.

So all this madness occurs and then everyone heads into the crowd to have a party with the fans and the only ‘participant’ in the ring is a chair, which is declared the winner.

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Final Rating: ****

 

Survival Tobita vs. Mecha Mummy

The last time I saw Mecha Mummy was either in Chikara KOT or Michinoku Pro ten years ago.

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As a survivalist Tobita comes prepared with a sword but Mecha Mummy has ARM DRILLS. And they’re detachable so he can throw them at Tobita with lethal accuracy. The biggest success of this match is piping in sinister mood music to make me feel super uneasy while watching it. This is not what you would call ‘good’ in the conventional sense. Mainly because Survival Tobita is 48 years old and not one of those freaks of nature like MiSu who stay in unreal condition into their old age.

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Naturally when these weapons of mass destruction are unleased Tobita is defeated, possibly dead, and the match is over.

Final Rating: MECHASTARS

 

HARASHIMA, MEN’s Teioh & Shota vs. Monster Halloween, ONAKIN & Eririn Takagi

Takagi is certainly looking at some underground talent here. Monster Halloween has a pumpkin mask and looks quite intimidating. His whole team are relative unknowns going against an established trio. HARASHIMA arguably the biggest name on the show. Shota you might have caught in Wrestle-1 a few years back or if you watch GUTS World he’ll be a familiar sight. Teioh is a former WWE superstar. He was Terry Boy in ECW and part of the Kaientai stable in the WWF, where he last about five months and the company gave up on the angle. He’s now in his 50s. Monster Halloween has a Leatherface deal and pulls out a chainsaw, thus freaking out everyone. He’s patterned himself on Kane (to a degree) and it works at times but he’s clearly inexperienced and the mask doesn’t help at all. The match has a lot of issues along those lines where the inexperienced guys have cool ideas but struggle to implement them. HARASHIMA is particularly dismissive of them collectively. Teioh gets ONAKIN to quit and an ambling co-main event comes to an end.

Final Rating: **3/4

 

Tiger Mask V (Self Proclaimed) vs. Pero Pero Master

TM is…not in the best condition. Pero Pero Master is Antonio Honda’s take on Hulk Hogan.

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This is certainly….something. Honda meshes weird Japanese stuff into the Hogan shtick and Tiger Mask is, well, it might be Sayama he’s in that bad of a condition. At one point he kicks out of a pinfall using only his belly. I can’t actually bring myself to screencap his gut, it’s that flabby.

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“YOU”

“NO”

*licks finger*

One offensive weapon in this match is Tiger Mask farting in his hand and throwing it in Honda’s face. That’s the level. Hogan gets his knickers exposed and he’s wearing an elephant thong. Honda ends up winning and this is supremely weird. Like even by DDT standards there’s a lot of odd things happening.

Final Rating: I don’t fucking know, dude, just watch it.

 

Summary:

Watch the 100 Glow Stick match for sure. Otherwise ALL DOIN is a strange fucking show with weird things happening and while I appreciate DDT existing for stuff like this they’ve done weird better than this. I’d rather watch their wrestling in camp sites or apartment buildings than this. Personal preference, of course, if you’re very into DDT you’ll probably get more out of this.

 

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