OCW One Night Special: Women’s Championship Tournament
August 26 2017
Seeing as the Mae Young Classic is the talk of the town I would be shocked if no one capitalised and had their own women’s tournament. Ohio Championship Wrestling duly oblige.
Video Control kicks us off backstage with Laura Lawless cutting a promo in front of a green screen. Why? Who knows. When we hit the venue it get embarrassing. You can literally count the number of fans in the building. I reckon there’s about 20 people in the crowd.
Laura Loveless vs. Super Oprah
Super Oprah is super sized. She gives some poor trainee a lap dance in the ring.
Jesus, would you look at this crowd. It’s the dark days of BritWres in a far bigger country. And the match? Good lord almighty is a fucking disaster. Laura tries punching Super Oprah in the boobs to no effect and Oprah’s response is grabbing her by the nipples. Laura’s manager is a southern gentleman by the name of Ripper Blackheart. He sprays deodorant in Oprah’s eyes and Loveless wins with a Flatliner. On the pin she literally grabs a handful of Oprah’s crotch. This was AWFUL.
Final Rating: DUD
Big Mama vs. Katie Arquette
Big Mama cuts a slightly babyface promo backstage but then walks out here as a heel and a “sweet airbrushed jacket”. Arquette is the “Queen of the Silver Screen” and hails from Hollywood. Her THX entrance music is pretty nifty. As soon as she walks out here if I had to hazard a guess I’d guess she was from Ohio. Mama’s main strength, besides sheer size, is an ability to yell at the crowd with great clarity. The sound of her voice grates at me during the contest. She will not shut up. They blunder through some awkward corner spots, keeping it basic and yet still failing to deliver. Big Mama’s corner running butt spot is abysmal. It’s in slow motion, there’s about a foot between her ass and Katie’s face and the commentator accurately calls it “brutal”. Katie picks up the win as the commentators try and praise her great beauty and style. Um.
Final Rating: DUD
Londyn Ali vs. Avarice Gloom
Ali has kick-ass dreads, giving her a better look than anyone else on the show so far. She’s also in decent shape, which gives her a huge advantage. Although she’s not over at all. Gloom is a witch. Or rather she has a witch gimmick, a babyface witch gimmick, and comes out to a very slow cover of Paint It Black. She actually has a broom, for fuck’s sake. The twenty fans are deadly silent when this starts and as hard as Ali attempts to get some heat nothing is happening. They try a few ambitious moves and some of them work. The draping DDT goes horribly wrong though with Gloom dropping off the ropes and Ali just dumping her on her face. Gloom usually gets plenty of snap on her bumps and there’s more potential here than in the first two matches combined. The timing alternates between lousy and decent. There’s significantly more impact on bumps though and that’s makes them seem more intense.
The match gets sloppier as it continues and Ali shifts her weight onto Gloom for the pin. Ali is easily the best talent on this show so far. Nobody else is anywhere near close.
Final Rating: *1/2
Joseline Navarro vs. Zoey Skye
Navarro is from the Dominican Republic. Skye is the “Rocket Girl”, comes out to Sum 41 and is instantly the most over worker on the show. She’s also in shape, which makes my suspected final Skye vs. Ali. Navarro can take a decent bump and the standard has leapt up in these last two matches. Their action is constant, never stopping to take a breath, which means I can’t get a decent screenshot! There’s a lot to be said for wrestlers who know when to pause and take in the moment. Commentary refers to the title this evening as the “OCW Female Title”. Oh dear. Skye hits the Lungblower out of the corner for the win. This was a tidy little match. No complaints.
Final Rating: **1/2
Laura Loveless vs. Katie Arquette
Hopefully these two can do better when not saddled with bigger, less capable opponents. I predict a Loveless win to set up a final losing to Zoey Skye, who’s clearly the star of this tournament. This match is very basic and the main focus is on how far Laura’s outfit retreats into her butt crack. It was retreating heavily in the opener but here it’s on the verge of cutting her in three. The crowd remain quiet, as there’s hardly anyone there. One guy half-heartedly yelling “boo” (or possibly “boo-urns”) drowns out everyone else routinely. Loveless gets the distraction from Ripper Blackheart and hits the reverse DDT for the win. This was brisk and without appeal.
Final Rating: *
Londyn Ali vs. Zoey Skye
This is potentially match of the night based on the first round performances. Ali starts hard and fast, jumping Skye before the introductions. The crowd has increased slightly in size before this match, with the one side gaining a car full of people. All of whom sit looking at their phones. The match is slick and harder than any other contest on the card. They attempt more difficult counters and deliver more complicated spots. Sadly it’s very brisk and is over in five minutes. Both ladies are worth keeping your eye on though. Ali has aggression and timing. Skye has personality and skill.
Final Rating: **3/4
Gino DeCapo & Grant Andrews vs. Jake Ely & Chuck Morris
Here comes some filler to give Skye and Loveless some recovery time. Electro Truck (Electric Jake and Chuck the Truck) are a popular pairing. The heels have a mob gimmick. Or at least Gino does. I’m not sure what Andrews is going for. Ely literally uses electricity as a weapon (static technically), which makes me wonder about the legality of such a move. Oh wait, “Electric Eel”. I just got that. American pronunciations are different. Eely over there is E-lie over here. The match is mostly heat, as you’d expect from the dirty south, the ancestral home of Tag Team Formula. The hot tag unveils the best part of the match ; Chuck Morris going Eastbound and Down! It’s like watching an unhoned Enzo & Cass. Or more accurately an unhoned Jake Evans and short Big Cass. Morris’ power offence is cool but it’s on the edge of reckless. I dig it. He needs new gear though. He looks like he walked in off the street.
Final Rating: **1/2
OCW Women’s Championship
Laura Loveless vs. Zoey Skye
The title is currently vacant so the winner of this match is the new champion. Skye’s popularity continues into the main event and I get to hear Sum 41 again. It’s all good. Zoey sells the presence of Ripper Blackheart expertly. Pointing him out to the referee and making sure she’s not stuck near him at any point. Commentary slips up and calls Zoey by her former gimmick name “Angel Dust”. Oops. Loveless is as clumsy as she has been all tournament, taking some awful bumps from minimal contact. Skye works too soft but Laura needs to take appropriate bumps. Ripper eventually lures Skye in but she’s able to get Loveless to dropkick her manager. Skye is able to overcome Laura in the next exchange. They did some good recognition spots in here, including Laura dodging the Lungblower after seeing Skye do it earlier in the night.
Final Rating: **3/4
The standard promised very little in the early going but the tournament came off in the end, thanks to solid heel work from Loveless and manager, good babyface fire from Zoey Skye and supporting work from Londyn Ali. I feel that Skye and Ali are the two to watch from this crop. They’re both decent and have potential to improve. This show is only 90 minutes long so it’s an easy watch. You can check it out on Highspots.